ZThemes

Hey brother, there’s an endless road to re-discover.
Hey sister, know the water’s sweet but blood is thicker.
Oh, if the sky comes falling down for you,
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do.

natawhat:

misandrist:

People in their twenties still refer to people older than them as “adults”. When do you think they stop… and realize… they are adults

I’m not an adult, I’m a child with a drinking permit.

koobaxion:

Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn’t too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like “hey… i think… i died… and now I’m in a parallel universe… and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe” and he was just kinda like “alright, you do that”. And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like “damn… why are there so many of you… there’s like 5 many of you” and she was just kinda like “alright, you do that”.

Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like “how ya feeling son” in the dadliest way possible and I was like “MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I’M STARVED” so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say “I’m good I can do this” and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some fucking battle and holler “WHATS UP FUCKS” to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look.

So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly fucking lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says “hey are you going to order or what”. Keep in mind I’m on the first fucking smoothie on the list here. So I just say “shush man I’m trying to do fruit science”, and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said “yeah give me a smooth regular” which for the uninitiated, isn’t actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the “boosted” smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made “lightning noises”.

So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some shit and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says “how ya feelin?”. Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say “there’s these fuckin… tiny sheep in my head” which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them).

Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn’t find the status update bar) that read: “i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice”

After reading this, I feel like I missed out on a lot of opportunities during my own wisdom teeth experience.

Be careful who you vent to.

Realest shit I’ve heard all morning. (via itsthelesbiana)

Reblogging this again for all of my college grads and who have found employment. Your co-workers, about 95%, are not your friends. 

(via vaguelydirty)

plays

thinkingindialogue:

doughgoong:

markdoesstuff:

multitudes-inside:

natawhat:

cornerof5thandvermouth:

babygoatsandfriends:

Koalas having an argument.

if you have never heard a koala noise before, here is yr chance

they sound like fuzzy bike horns

I laughed so hard I literally started crying

i wasn’t ready

blehr!!

They’re alive squeaky toys

this is important

I'm not asking you this because I am assuming you are one, but what do you do if you're a bad person?
deadtastebuds

neil-gaiman:

Mm. I’m not sure there really are good or bad people.

I think there are people who do good or bad things. If you are one of the people who does bad things, then, don’t. Don’t do stuff that hurts other people or harms them or makes their life worse. Do good things instead. Volunteer. Be kind. Help. Look after yourself and look after other people — don’t try and beat them. Life’s not a battle you were put here to win: we’re all in this together, trying to help each other to muddle through as best we can. So help, if you can. And if you cannot help, then do no harm.

That’s what I’d do.

cairistiona7:

Imagine if they re-released Captain America: The First Avenger as a black-and-white film…

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Except for the last scene….

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Aries: They tend to come off as 'masculine'. Assertive. Short tempered. Thinks they're everyone's boss.
Taurus: They are like still waters. Calm and steady. They don't really want to share their food with you, don't even try it.
Gemini: Quick witted. Natural storytellers. If they smile a lot, they probably hate you.
Cancer: Caring. Always worrying about you despite themselves. Probably should be on drugs.
Leo: Natural hosts. Treats everyone like they're best friends. Only do it because they know a king is nothing without their people.
Virgo: Analytical. Tend to be intellectually conceited. They'll offer to help you and then complain about it. If you do something about it, they'll complain even more.
Libra: Charm overload. Peacekeepers. Always on everyone's side. Gossip masters. Would self destruct rather than make a decision.
Scorpio: Quiet power. Hard to figure out. Fucks up shit for fun. They laugh at your distress and your inability to figure out they did it.
Sagittarius: The life of the party. Blunt honesty. Talks shit then forgets about it 0.5 seconds later. Not suitable for fragile egos. They have a fragile ego.
Capricorn: Stern. Probably your math teacher. Type of humor that you are always left wondering if you were the joke. Works harder than you could ever.
Aquarius: Weird and contradicting. Believes in conspiracy theories. Probably gets turned off if more than one person likes the same thing they do.
Pisces: Imaginative. Altruistic. Martyr complex. Spends 90% of the time daydreaming. Probably on drugs or at least look like it. Hobo chic. Probably crying right now.

Your Powers: are weakening

Power Count: 4

Powers: flying, multilingualism, speed, fire

Best Friend: clint

Works Best With: tony

Crush: maria

Weak Spots Count: 1

Weak Spots: bad accuracy

Years As An Avenger: 3

Your Powers: Are Strengthening

Power Count: 4

Powers: Time Warping

Best Friend: Steve Rogers

Works Best With: Tony Stark

Crush: Steve Rogers

Weak Spots Count: 1

Weak Spots: Impulsive Behavior

Years As An Avenger: 4+